The Detroit Collection: 2015

by Rich Gibson

Adding it up. Don’t ride your bike in Detroit You will be shot in the back and killed. Don’t go to Greektown--same result. Don't be a young woman from Grosse Pointe, sitting with your friends in your parked car in Detroit as a man will arrive with a fully automatic weapon, fire; killing you and wounding your pals. Eight months later--no suspects. Don't go to Wendy's. Don't buy gas. Don't sit in your house unarmed. Keep your Glock 9 ready–and shoot them: “They weren't ready for th at 9 I had," she chuckled. Make that twice--home invasions. Don't go to the neighborhood block party as men with semi-auto weapons will shoot nearly all of you. Repeat: don’t go to the neighborhood block party–same result. Don't walk with children as you will be shot in the back. Don’t drive in your car on the west side. Don’t get gas on St Aubin early in the morning as men in a van will arrive, attempt a carjack, and kill you when you try to flee. Don’t stand outside late at night. Don’t bring your infant baby to the dice game in a vacant house as you and all your pals will be shot. Don’t walk with your girlfriend at twilight. Don’t walk on the west side at twilight–twice. Don’t get too near your Mom’s freezer as she will chop you up, with your sibling, and stuff you in. Nobody will miss you for more than a year. Don’t leave your 4 year old near your un-locked gun. Don’t count on EMTs when your baby is struggling to breathe. They will deliberately refuse to come, sit in their bus a block away while the baby dies. And now for a third time, don’t go to the block party. Don’t let your 11 year old kill the 3 year old. Don’t be transgender. You will be shot. And on the weekend of August 8, 3 dead–26 (correction, 30) wounded. 8/14–don’t be in your home unarmed and when faced with an intruder, shoot first. Don’t go on dates with men you meet on social media sites. Don’t be a DTE worker and sit in your truck because you will get shot. O! Wait! Don’t be on Elmdale at 2:20 p.m. And, to repeat, don’t drive on the near west side as armed thugs fleeing the coppers will run into your car, and flee again. Don’t shoot hoops in the early evening on the once-so-desirable northwest side. If 2 armed men invade your home, jump through the window, get cut up, then refuse to talk to the coppers. Don’t ride on a city bus on one of the main streets in Detroit as you will get stabbed to death by a younger woman . Don’t be in your car at Coyle and Joy as men with, perhaps, fully auto weapons, will blow you away–for?? Don’t sit on your porch on Marlborough as some good pal will enter your house, get behind you, shoot and kill you (8/27). Don’t be on E. Winchester as you will be stabbed to death. Don’t drive near Michigan and Livernois late at night as some fool is being chased by the coppers–fool throwing his stash out the window–and one or the other may kill you. Don’t walk on the northeast side while eating potato chips as someone will shoot you in the crotch for them. Don’t be a street artist in Detroit as a gang of young men will beat you to death. In order to find your missing son, pay some fellow to tell you he’s shot and partly buried on Marx (sic) on the east side–don’t bother with the coppers. Don’t go to the bank at Warren and Woodmont without your CPL and when two fellas stick you up, shoot ‘em. Don’t marry a guy named Justice on the west side as he will shoot and kill you and disappear your two kids. Don’t go to Rouge Park with your new Fusion as an incompetent thief/carjacker will try to shoot you, and fail, try to steal your car, and fail because he forgets the parking brake, a good Samaritan intervenes but isn’t shot as “I only rob white people,” then the changeling runs from the coppers in his stolen Jeep, flips it a few times, and gets busted. Don’t get into a fender bender in northwest Detroit as the other driver will shoot and kill you. Be sure not to let anyone kill you and stuff you down a manhole in Detroit as it will take weeks to find what is left of you. Don’t get near a teen habituated to torturing and killing animals in Detroit–he’ll be out soon. Don’t be a rapper in a strip club on Michigan Ave. as you’re going to be shot and killed. Don’t let your dead body be floating in the Detroit River behind the Riverfront apartments. Don’t get angry and jump the fence and interrupt your neighborhood cop’s barbeque because he’ll kill you with his bare hands. Don’t be the host of the TV show, “Rehab Addict,” placing your 4 month old baby in your car, as a man will arrive, seek to carjack you, steal your possessions, and flee. Don’t be in your front yard on Stout as you will get shot and killed. Don’t come home to find your wife, drunk and passed out, in bed with her father, who did her, as he will stab you repeatedly, take your car, and flee. To repeat: don’t buy gas in Detroit, especially not on Chalmers–you will be shot and killed. Don’t sit in your car in the “safe Green Zone” area of Detroit at Jos Campau and Franklin as you will be shot and killed–in mid-afternoon. Don’t be waving your gun at the coppers on Artesian in the early eve as they are sure to shoot you. Do steal a van, take it to well traveled Greenfield and Schoolcraft at night, smash it into a business, steal thirty grand (really–insurance?) and flee, unseen. Don’t be a hard working veteran at a bus stop on Woodward near Chicago at 5:30 a.m. as someone will drive up, shoot, and kill you. Don’t be a convicted felon on probation, prohibited from owning or carrying a gun, and get caught carrying a gun and the coppers double down when they find your Facebook page, replete with you pointing guns at the camera. Do beg squatters to move into the vacant houses in northwest Detroit because ,"There's nothing to do now and nowhere to go, so lighting homes on fire is the entertainment." Don’t be William Rice walking home at 5:00 a.m. as someone will run over your head and kill you and leave and not be found. Don't stand in the street in front of Marios as the owner, knowing he is on video, will threaten to have the thugs he hires shoot and kill you. Don’t be two older women, 68 and 72, leaving the casino at 5:30 a.m. on 9/17/15 as you will be carjacked, kidnaped, and robbed. Don’t walk on the west side near the 5200 block of Florida on a Sunday morning as you will step on an IED which will blow up your foot–just protecting the maryjane patch.. Don’t walk on the sidewalk on Kensington on 9/19 as someone will drive up and shoot you in the back. Same day: don’t be on Mt Elliot as someone in a Caddy will drive by and shoot you. Same day: don’t be dead on Keeler as you will be so full of bullet holes, you won’t be recognizable. Same day: don’t be on Morrell as you will be car-jacked. Same day: don’t be on Woodward at Seward as you will shot by a drive-by. Don’t try to put air in your tires on E. Outer Drive in Detroit at 6:30 a.m. as a fellow with a tire iron will threaten you, but then use your piece to shoot him through your wind-shield with your well placed piece. Don’t be in a gang terrorizing northwest Detroit with murder, extortion, rape, etc., for 4 years as the feds will, finally, bust you. Don’t be in your nice Mustang convertible on Gratiot in the far northeast side on 9/21 at midnight as men with pistols will confront you and take your car. Spotted by the coppers–they run away and are not caught. Don’t be the 23 of the 76 sex offenders the coppers finally caught–rather, do be. Don’t be a carjacker at the gas station on Harper and Outer Drive as your victim will gut shoot you, empty his weapon at you and as you flee, you leave DNA blood all over–but the coppers are too busy to process DNA. Don’t film a rap video, displaying real guns in Detroit as the coppers will confront you–but you get a chance to shoot at them and run off. DPD report on Lothrop: The 33 year old male victim was sitting in front of the location in his black Ford Fusion, when an unknown suspect fired multiple shots at, striking him in the body. The victim sustained non-fatal injuries. Don’t be in your Lincoln at East 8 Mile and Gratiot as you will be shot and killed. Honest! Don’t buy gas late at night at Greenfield and Schoolcraft as you will be carjacked and shot. Don’t be a friendly fellow on Pennsylvania as your neighbor’s eleven vicious dogs will attack you, eat off your left arm and leg, and your neighbor will get two years probation. Don’t be part of the bad-boy “A1 Killers” who the coppers say did,“armed robbery, you have trafficking, you have carjacking," said Donald Dawkins, ATF special agent. "And definitely narcotics trafficking.” Of course it took 18 months to bust some of you..Don’t be a 68 year old woman entering a business at Wyoming and McNichols at 10:20 a.m. as you’ll get robbed. When you hot-wire a moped and obviously don’t have the key, don’t ride it past a half dozen cop cars, in the midst of a raid on a west side chop shop, as the coppers will grab you and discover your auto theft warrants. Don’t be at the gas station at Greenfield and Six Mile at noon as you will be car-jacked by two men with pistols. Don’t leave the wedding and go to a coney island as you will be robbed by armed men. Don’t be a 16 year old girl sitting in the passenger side of a car on Tappert as a man will arrive and shoot you. Don’t be talking to pals on E. Seven Mile as someone, from a distance, will shoot you. Don’t be in your car at Dexter and Waverly as you will be shot. Don’t laugh at Detroit, suburbanites. You may not come to it; but it will come to you. “ Beckley - Copper thieves have broken into nearly two dozen vacant homes in recent weeks in this Oakland County suburb.” Don’t be former Detroit City Council President Charles Pugh who molests children, disappears, returns, and touts his weight loss (and don’t be Otis Mathis, illiterate former Detroit School Board President and repeat public masturbator either). Do be Detroit Councilwoman Alberta Tinsley-Talabi and collect thousands in bribes for favors, never got charged, and is now in the Michigan House of Representatives. Wait! More on Charles Pugh–don’t be his intern as he will groom you, starting when you are 14, using child porn as a lure and you’ll note his repeated “interactions” with young, very young, males. Don’t shoot your pal in the head, kill him on Steel, flee to Ohio street, then wimp out to the coppers. Don’t be new white-boy mayor Duggan and claim to fix the schools as after decades of state takeovers and other “fixes,” we learned that school reform without social and economic reform will never work. So we will call that a shell game for hope. Do be the pension lawyer who stole at least $150,000 from the city and helped lose the city $200 million, get a verdict to repay the $150,000, died, and a judge rules your family gets to keep the $150,000 as you were appealing. Don’t be a suburbanite chasing hookers in the city as there are undercover copper/hookers–who might be noticing the many murders? Don’t be the daughter of the young dad and painter who was murdered in a road rage killing on September 6, 2015, as the coppers have no suspects on November 7th despite a video of the Caddy driving off. Don’t be a 16 year old boy crossing the street around 9 p.m. near Greenfield and Eaton as you will be run over and dragged for 20 feet–killed. The police have video of the van that killed you, and a good photo of the driver, but they haven’t been able to find him for a month. Don’t get shot and killed in your car at Prest and Joy in the early evening on August 23rd as by October 9th, the coppers will have no idea who did you in. Don’t be a young woman dead on the east side in somebody’s front yard as the coppers will send out pictures of your tats to ID you Don’t be a 17 year old girl waiting for a bus on E. Seven Mile as a man in a grey car will abduct you, take you to an abandoned house, rape you for seven hours, then drop you off at home. Don’t be a man moving furniture into your home on Wilford as a man will approach you, take show you his gun, and take your car. Don’t be a father of three (3,5, and 7) on Huntington near Seven Mile talking on your phone near the sidewalk at 8:45 p.m. as you will be shot 6 times and killed–no suspects. Don’t go to the Home Depot in Northwest Detroit in October. You’ll be shot and killed. Don’t be a 4 week old baby in Detroit. Your mother, sleeping, will roll on you and kill you. Don’t be a couple walking on Michigan Avenue downtown around 11 p.m. as an armed man will exit a van and rob you at gunpoint. Don’t be the absolutely shocked scrapper who was doing his locally honorable job, stealing scrap on West Eight Mile as the police will bust you via scrap yard records. And don’t be the scrap yard owner, equally shocked, who got busted for buying hot scrap. Don’t be the guy with a brick attacking the pastor of the Church of God on the west side as the good pastor is not going to turn the other cheek. He is going to pull his Glock, shoot you five times, and kill you. Don’t be a couple walking on Courtland on Saturday evening (10/17) as a guy in an Explorer, fleeing another accident, will run you over, kill the two of you, flee the scene, then appear at the copper’s station claiming he was carjacked. Again, don’t be city council man Charles Pugh who fled town when he was charged with molesting children and now is being charged with seeking to bribe and threatening the family of one of the boys he is charged with abusing. Don’t be a 17 year old girl at 6:30 a.m. waiting for a bus on 7 Mile as a guy will rape you on the street and none of the many, many passers-by will help you. Don’t be with your bicycle in a house on the 1600 block of Staple as one of the other six people in the house will shoot you in the head, and elsewhere. They’ll surrender to the coppers after a 4 hour standoff. Don’t be a dad in your fifties, the local handyman living at 17th and Forrest as when your house catches on fire you burn to death on the second floor because the three nearest fire stations are closed and the fire crews couldn’t get to you quickly. Don’t fabricate a story about being at a gas station, abducted, robbed at your ATM and then raped as the coppers are going to charge you with a felony for lying to them. Don’t try to set the bed bugs in you apartment on fire as you will cause a three alarm blaze engulfing the whole building on Outer Drive. Don’t be the three guys who shot at the cops executing a search warrant, wounding one cop on Orangelawn as, since you surrendered, you can bet on bad days ahead. Don’t be Timothy Terry because you shot and killed a man who was leaving the Home Depot and you seem to have vanished. Oh boy! Back to former City Council Chair Charles Pugh. Don’t be this pimp who was trying to turn the boy he was abusing over to a prostitution ring Don’ be the three people driving on I-94 in Detroit in the early evening as people in a passing car will kill the driver and wound the passengers. Don’t be the dad who is arrested on a felony charge as your 9 year old boy on the west side is going to use your shotgun to kill himself. Don’t be outside a party store near 22000 W. Warren as two robbers will shoot you (for pocket change). Don’t be eating a late breakfast in your garage on Kirkwood at around 10:00 a.m. as two intoxicated men will enter the garage and shoot you. Don’t be a 91 year old man living in your northwest home as someone is going to break in, beat you, set you on fire, burn you to death, and steal your van. Don’t get into an argument on the 11000 block of Hayden at 3 p.m. as the dude will shoot and kill you. Don’t be a 21 year old man and a teen girl in a car by a liquor store on the east side in early December as you will both be shot and killed. Oh, and don’t be the two kids riding on the top of the hood of the two victims’ car as you will be run over by that car and badly injured. Don’t be the 4 year old boy being held by your Mom in her arms as four pit bulls will attack, drag you under a fence, and eat you to death on December 3rd. Don’t be two brothers driving on 8 Mile after you shared a syringe of heroin, rather than working on the West Bloomfield project you were hired to do, as the police will see you passed out in your moving truck and give CPR to save you. Don’t be 38-year-old Jermaine Cooper, a prime suspect in the murder of you ex, as you will be holed up in a small house on west side where a police negotiator will talk you out after a 7 hour stand-off, promising you will be “just fine.” Don’t be a school worker and member of the Detroit Federation of Teachers as every one of you was fired in 2012 and your union did nothing but sue for the right to continue to collect dues. Then, after an elected president, a radical, was effectively impeached and expelled from the union, your union bosses write to the national president, the habitual sellout Randi Weingarten, asking her to take over the Detroit local as it is such a mess, the indigenous people cannot handle it. She does. And do not be a Detroit school kid as your test scores will be the lowest in any large city in the USA. Don’t be the two robbers who approach a pizza delivery man and woman on Kentucky near Joy as, when you display your gun, one of the pizza people will shoot you. The coppers will find you wounded not far away. Don’t be a student at Dixon Elementary as a huge parent brawl will cause a lockdown in your school on December 11th. Four of your parents will be arrested and charged with assault and battery. Don’t be the Detroit Schools ombudsman as you will be fired for corruption. Don’t be a Detroit paramedic as you will be arrested for attempting to have sex with a 14 year old girl. Don’t be one of at least 4,000 Detroit residents who are so poor that your water is shut off and you are living off rainwater. More, 68,000 of about 200,000 water accounts are more than 60 days past due. Don’t be a pretty 24 year old woman in Detroit as your body was found at Fielding and Clarita–the prime suspect stole your car and emptied your ATM while wearing a skull mask. Don’t be the approximately 60 year old man stabbed to death and found in the early morning on December 15th. Don’t be the 62 year old woman driving on the 8900 block of St Marys as you will be shot and killed. Don’t be the guy and new girlfriend on Hoyt as your ex will return to your house with a new boyfriend, fire bomb the home, and burn you both to death. Don’t be the 16 year old boy visiting your Grandma near the New Center as you will be shot multiple times and killed. Don’t be the body burned beyond recognition in a flaming van on Medbury on December 18th. Don’t be the man about to attack the pastor with a brick at the church near Grand River and Lahser as the pastor will pull out his 9 mm, shoot and kill you, saying, “Don’t bring a brick to a gunfight.” Don’t be Ms Mason on the west side as, after getting into a fight, your opponent will run you over with her car and kill you. Don’t be the Mom trying to intervene in a fight between your son and his Dad as the son will take Dad’s gun, shoot and kill you on December 17th. Don’t be the pot farmer who surrounded his Detroit field with IEDs as the police will bust you and lay heavy charges. Don’t be firefighter David Madrigal, known as the friendly “mayor” of your block as you will be found beaten to death on your Detroit home. Don’t be two men living on Blackstone as you will be shot to death in mid-afternoon. Don’t be the Westland copper who arrested a Detroit man wanted for a murder in that city as the suspect will steal your car and flee. Don’t buy gas in Detroit but if you do, take note: an armed robber tried a stick-up at a gas station so the victim pulled his weapon and shot and killed the perpetrator. No charges. Again, don’t buy gas in Detroit as this time the thief will shoot and kill you at Schoolcraft and Outer Drive. Don’t be on the once tony northwest block of Archdale as you will get in your car, smell smoke, and discover that the house next door is on fire. The police arrive and find a shot, burning, body in the upstairs bedroom in the early morning on December 23rd. Don’t be Chanell Berry and Ellen Garjo, 8 and 7, playing with your Christmas presents in the early evening of December 23rd as Chanell will be shot and killed and Ellen seriously wounded–probably by an ex-girlfriend firing several shots from the street. Don’t be the woman found on the east side on the same day as your dead body is partially eaten by animals. Don’t be the unarmed wanted man being chased by a Dearborn cop as he will shoot and kill you. Do be or don’t be 39-year-old woman living on Radnor who is in critical condition after she was stabbed early Wednesday while fighting off an attempted sexual assault inside her east side home. Don’t be, or do be, the 32 year old man walking on the east side as you will be hit by a stray bullet, but you will live! Don’t be the two men on Porter who were shot and wounded on New Year’s eve.

The re-colonization wars continue. One race: human. Why this? Nice. Next?